Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Nerves and Hands

I am a nervous twitching ball this week. The computer is giving me troubles - TROUBLES. This morning I had to re-boot 10 times before I could finally get online. I usually take a half hour before the kids start arriving (anywhere between 6:30 and 7:00), to read emails and enter the daily meals into the daycare reporting software. I count on efficiency and when my computer is s...l..o..w..., it throws off my entire morning - or week in this case.

I am adrift in issues.

I need to hire a tax preparer to do my taxes - do you know one? My taxes are complicated for the first time and I need help. I am not sure how to proceed since I am separated, but not yet divorced. This year I have been very, very good about keeping track of everything for my business and expenses. Last year I was a emotional raging mess and unfortunately, my records reflect that instability.

I am living in a home that I am not sure I will have in the next year . . . months? It makes running a business (the sole income for the kids and I for six months running) in my home a mite scary right now. It also makes it very hard to answer questions about availability in the daycare for next fall. I have an interview on Monday for a new client. What should I say?

Not knowing if we will have a home also makes it tough to figure out if I should sign Max up for Scout camp or if the kids can do spring soccer. They've already sacrificed piano and dance and I want them to be able to participate in some extracurricular activities if possible. Deadlines are passing. Long term planning is not going so well. Do you know of a house/town home for rent in the Red Pine area?

Our insurance runs out at the end of this month. That is a big problem. I need my tax statements for the insurance applications.

There are always issues - I know that. I know that we will figure out how to get through these. They are just making me nervous and anxious today. As a result, I am consuming chocolate at an alarming rate.

Amid the issues and anxiety there are blessings. We had a wonderful Relief Society program on Tuesday night about our hands and all of the things our hands can do. Each sister present shared something she makes or does with her hands - everything from beautiful drawings to fresh baked bread, intricate quilts, warm knitted booties and summer gardens to ironing shirts for a spouse. We have an amazing group of women in our ward with strong capable hands.

On Tuesday, some of those hands cared for my family. It was one of those days where I needed a village to raise my child. I am so grateful to have a village. On Tuesday morning, Sophie had to go back to the dentist to have her crown put back on (no more Halloween fruit snacks eaten in secret in her room). I had seven children at the house and was feeling supremely useless as a Mother of my own children. Lori swept in here, scooped up Sophie and took her to the dentist for me and then returned her to school - checking her in at the office. Later in the afternoon, other capable hands (Marsha's) picked Max and Sophie up from school and took them to the ophthalmologist (Susan) who used her skilled hands to checked their eyesight (Sophie is going to need glasses in the next year or two). Other thoughtful hands (Nola's) stopped by later in the day to bring me old dominoes uncovered at the local goodwill - just because.

I was emotional on Tuesday. So much kindness and women using their hands to serve. Can I say thank-you enough?

In other news, Sophie finally got the last book in the Percy Jackson series from the library today and she is barely coming up for air.

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