It was a busy weekend around these parts. The kids left late Friday night to spend some quality time with their Dad and I had the house to myself. I tend to want to spend alone time lounging in bed with a good book and a cup of herbal tea - or a diet coke. I have to make deals with myself. "I can read one more chapter, but then I have to get up and clean the bathroom". "OK, I'll just finish this one book and then I have to clean out the storage room that flooded last week. I absolutely will not start another book." Reading is my nemesis. Actually everyone in this house would be perfectly happy if we were all quaratined to the house for a month or two. We have at least a 3 month supply of unread books. How's our food storage? Errr . . . not so great - we might be hungry, but we certainly would not be bored.
On Saturday I baked a cake for the Young Women dinner and auction which I attended alone. It was not as awkward as I thought it might be and Susan and I went out afterward for some chitchat which was really nice. BTW, did you know Barnes and Noble closes at 10:00? We ended up chatting in a restaurant in the same parking lot whose name escapes me.
On Sunday I spoke in church and sang with the choir. I was nervous about my talk because my topic was developing a personal relationship with the Savior. I was trying to figure out how to talk about my own personal experiences without really mentioning anything from the last two years because : 1. my kids were in the audience, 2. I did not want to break down and just bawl in front of the entire congregation, 3. many of the members do not know that I am getting a divorce - they just think Bryan is inactive since he had not been coming to church for so long and 4. I'm not quite sure how to talk about the divorce and the assurance I feel that everything is going to be alright for me and the kids. In a church where marriage is so sacred, it often feels uncomfortable to talk about losing that gift. Though I did not feel comfortable talking about it in front of the congregation, I have felt comforted throughout this journey and absolutely know that I am being lifted and strengthened every single day.
In the end, I was happy with my talk - I certainly learned a lot as I studied and have a renewed desire to make sure my children hear my testimony and have regular opportunities to feel their Heavenly Father's love for them in their lives. I did not break down and cry - at least not much.
It is a new busy week. I have a ton of kids tomorrow. I need to put together the gift basket for Max's class for the Spring Art's Night. I am also donating a basket of hair clips to be auctioned for the school - I need to put that together. The pinewood derby is tomorrow night. Last year it was a horrible experience for Max - his car did not even make it down the track. Lots of tears. *sigh* Sometimes I feel ill-qualified to raise boys on my own.
I'm off to bed after all of these rambling thoughts. I am allowing myself two chapters and then I must go to sleep!
Your talk was great.
ReplyDeleteI find it hard to talk during sacrament as well. I'm sure it was great!
ReplyDeleteAnd I wholeheartedly recommend "Raising Boys" by Steve Biddulph. It's an excellent book. Seriously, if you can't find it over there, I'll send you a copy. It is fantastic!
It really was - you're such a great speaker!
ReplyDelete