Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Thankful for the Journey
Though I have seen this several times, it made me cry today. I am thankful for my personal journey. I would not have chosen this path for myself, but I know that it is teaching me and shaping me and making me so aware of my unique abilities and the blessings in my life.
This is our first major holiday as a broken family. When life slows down enough to really reflect on our situation, it causes the pain to come and the tears to flow.
I have much to be thankful for.
I have much to mourn.
The holidays are going to be emotional this year simply because we will be missing a part of our family for the first time in eleven years. It is a matter of firsts - how do I make the holidays seem just as magical for the children when they will be so very different this year? I have been using the "too busy to notice" method for the last several months. Our lives are so crazy and there are so many children over here that the chaos has been a good distraction for my own children. This Thanksgiving I am hoping the cousins will help the children to not focus on who's missing from our Thanksgiving table. I assume at some point, there will be stillness and quiet and then, then it will be really hard. But for right now, bring on the chaos and keep our lives and minds full.
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I was reading your thoughts about the changes your family is undergoing. I am sure that you feel your family is broken. I know that I did. Your family is not broken. It is altered. There are many things that can alter a family significantly. Divorce and death are two of the biggest impactors. I had been married for 15 years. His secretary looked better than me and the kids. His choice, but we also suffered the consequesces. That was 14 years ago. Some days I still think about the changes. I have 4 kids. They were 7th grade down to 1st. Now they are all persuing careers and college. One is married with a child of his own on the way. A wise Bishop told me divorce took a family that was like a sunny side up egg and made it into a scrambled egg. The trick is learning to like scrambled eggs. Things will never be the same. Some days they will be better. Some days they won't. Keep your eyes to heaven and your heart to prayer. That is how most of us make it through. Best of everything to you and your children. Make scrambled eggs together.
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