Mommy question: what do you do about bullies in your neighborhood? We have a couple of boys around here that are just mean. Though younger than Max, they gang up on him 3 vs 1 for snowball fights that usually result with Max getting hit in the face and crying, they push the younger kids (yesterday one of them shoved one of the little kids off the snow mountain and made his chin bleed), say mean things and make threats and are just generally kids I would rather my own children could avoid. I watch the kids from the window when they are in the cul-de-sac and if I see the bullies acting like well, bullies, I go to the door and threaten to call their moms. I've talked to Max about just saying "I don't wish to play with you" and not to be a tattle-tale, but in truth, yesterday I wanted to go out there and give the bullies a sound spanking and send them to bed. Do any of you have any experience with this - should I just call the moms or go out and talk to the kids with my best "don't-mess-with-me mommy voice?"
Heck yeah. My oldest is a sweetie too. Whenever someone would say something or do something mean to him I would have a freak out. I was talking to my brother in law about it once, and he said just to talk to him afterwards and tell him you are glad HE'S not like that. That's what I've tried to do. I think handling it that way builds his character. Teaching him just to pity the bully. It gives him a little sense of self to experience meanness and learn from it.
ReplyDeleteI am struggling with a bus stop situation..isolation etc. Girls can be so mean. I got worked up and talked to the other girl's mom. I thought that it helped Em know that I had her back. Bottom line there is never an easy answer. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteStacey, I have no idea, and it strikes terror in my heart to know that I'll have to deal with it someday. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI think it breaks any moms heart to see their kids getting picked on. There is a lesson here and I think the best way to handle it is to teach the child to stand up for himself and like you said, "Don't play with them." If something physical is going on then I don't see tattle telling as wrong or bad, but instead necessary. Other stuff is hard for kids to go through, but teaches them in ways that do build their character and while hard to watch or hear about, in the end we all go through or have gone through times of isolation and others being rude and we've learned valuable lessons from such experiences. I would only talk to the moms of the kids if you know them well and know they will act on the situation. Otherwise, I don't see it helping much. Good luck!
ReplyDelete